Interracial Dating: Attention Seeking Fad? Or A Colorblind Attraction?

They call this country the "ultimate melting pot". The land where all cultures, races, and religions collide with each other to form something called The United States of America. The interracial intertwining we see today is the direct result of the fight for civil rights, the US Constitution, and a new generation of people who look beyond skin color, such as myself. However years ago In the early 18th, 19th, and 20th century- before I was born, before my mother was born, and before my mother's mother was born- interracial dating was associated with words like: abomination, disgrace, prohibited, and sometimes disowned. This isn't limited to whites by any measure. Contrary to the ideologies of the "pro-black movement" and opinions of the minorities, the ignorance towards interracial interaction leeches on virtually every single race in this country. It may not be as prevalent here in 2010 as it was back in the day, but I assure you it still exists.

Despite the ongoing controversy between blacks interacting with whites on a social, economic, and intimate level, interracial relationships are at an all-time high. It's almost as if it's a second nature to breed a beautiful, bi-racial child into the world. I can relate to this to some measure because I'm not ashamed to say that I'm a black man who does date outside my race frequently and openly. This isn't due to the stereotypical reasons such as "selling out", "not liking myself", or "not knowing who I am". I know exactly who I am and where I come from and I happen to love myself just as I love my black mother, my black stepfather, and it makes me no less black than a dope dealer on the corner or President Obama.

However, I'm sensing a rising issue with interracial dating as a means to simply seek attention or to emulate what they see on TV. For instance, America constantly associates Blacks with the entertainment industry (rap music, stand-up comedy, and professional sports- mainly basketball and football). Since television stations and producers are being paid to keep the audiences' attention and nurture their lust for gaudy, eye-catching elements then eventually people are going to seek out what they like to see on their 60 inch, HDTV.

This is supported by prominent rapper, 50 Cent. When he released his debut album Get Rich or Die Tryin, urban America fell in love with this underground, highly unknown rapper virtually overnight. His G-Unit label was being marketed in almost every urban clothing store in every mall in America. Guys loved him, and more specifically girls from other races loved him. It even got to a point where you saw youths in urban neighborhoods as well as middle-class, suburban areas sporting G-Unit tank tops and sometimes 50 Cent's then-signature bullet proof vest. He sported it to protect himself from another potential encounter with gun shots, but the youths sported them as a fashion statement. So now that rappers and pro athletes have become the mainstream association with black males or males of color, they've become the prototypical boyfriend, or male companion that women of all races are told by the media to seek out.

Now, I'm going to flip the script and point out the way some black men seek out women from a different race.

Ever since blacks were freed from slavery via the Emancipation Proclamation, the media has blackballed black women from being an icon for monogamous companionship and intimate desire (with women such as Oprah, Hallie Berry, and Beyonce being some of the few exceptions). Although this doesn't keep my attention as much as black men being labeled as "sell outs" for dating outside their race, I still recognize it as a problem and it needs to be stopped.

But the bigger issue is how some black men exclusively seek out women outside their race due to the media associating monogamous companionship and intimate desire with the typical white woman who is slim with blonde hair, and blue eyes who is regularly being shown hand in hand with the rich, good-looking, 6'2-6'3 black man. I'm a black man who is far from rich and popular, but as I stated before I happen to find Caucasian women very attractive, but that's just because that's what attracts me. I don't do it because the media tells me to through subliminal signals we call: television programming. Some of the other black men aren't necessarily always truly attracted. They simply emulate what they see on TV for a psychological boost in ego and/or self confidence. It's ironic, however, that what they're doing is orchestrating the complete opposite and alot of them don't even realize it until it's too late.

We, as men and women, now have a responsibility to decide why they exclusively date the good-looking, 6 foot-plus, black man or that slim, blond haired, blue-eyed white woman. Is it because we want to emulate what we lust for on TV in order to get attention? Is it because we feel as if dating outside our race gives us a psychological clearance to say "I'm not a racist and I don't judge people by skin color"? Is it because that's just what naturally attracts us, and we can't help that matter? Or is it because we have found love, companionship, and compatibility and he/she just happens to be of a different color or race?

No matter what positive or negative feedback I receive from this, interracial interaction is going to continue to be an issue in this country until we stop looking at skin color and start looking at what's inside our hearts, morals, and character. As author Tony Brown said in his book, Black Lies, White Lies: "If we don't unite, there will be no black or white winners. Just American losers".

As I look at some women today-specifically the women I went to high school with- I can't help but shake my head at how they are currently living here in 2010. Some of them have gone on to live successful, prosperous lives and I give them props for that and wish them the best of luck. Others, however, have dropped from the top 10 ranks in terms of popularity from high school to the all infamous role of: "babymama".

Don't get me wrong. There are a few women who have been misled and deceived by the so-called "prince charming". They "fall in love", have a child or children, and assume that it's going to be "happily ever after". But way too often, the wolf in sheep's clothing reveals itself and by the time he jumps ship and ends the fairy tale of a relationship, she is left with debt, anger, grief, confusion, and of course CHILD/CHILDREN. These type of women who were did dirty have my sympathy and I can't help but admire them for taking the heartbreak in the chin and doing what they need to in order for them and their children to survive. That's one of the many definitions of a "woman" and I respect that.

And then there's the "babymamas". The ones who constantly complain about how "prince charming" turned their lives into pumpkins. The ones who would rather leech of tax payers dollars in the forms of section 8, rental assistance, welfare, and the ever-popular CHILD SUPPORT instead of doing whatever they can to provide for themselves. The ones who are foolish enough to keep sleeping with the same "prince charming" and make more babies that they can't support. The ones who stick their jealous noses up at single, hard-working, stand up guys-such as myself- simply because we chose not to go the route they took. The ones who dig themselves in deeper holes emotionally, financially, spiritually, and literally with every word of nonsense that comes out of their mouths, as well as their actions and poor decision-making.

Those are the types of women you need to stay away from, or put them in their place early because many of them simply don't know any better.

My overall view on this may be a tad bit biased because I'm a single man with two incomes and my own place of residence with no children, but one thing is indeed factual: Women with children and "babymamas" typically aren't the highest prospects as potential life mates. This revelation may be offensive to some, but it's absolutely true. However, I can almost guarantee you that the women who provide for their children instead of complaining about "what if", "he should've", and "I hate him" will get scouted before the "babymamas" do. Sometimes we have to rise and fall, but only off the strength of our blood, sweat, and determination is where we as people-especially single parents-can rise again.